The stakes are now higher

Hi, y'all. It's been two months since I last wrote. I have not made a lot of progress. I hit a new high on April 3rd -- 205.4 lbs. But on April 25th I hit a low for 2006 of 198.0 lbs. - and that was after returning home from a friend's wedding weekend. Today, however, I'm back up to 201.6 lbs. This weekend I've been engaged in a lot of self-reflection to figure out the best way for me to lose weight.

I have a few things driving this self-reflection:
-- seeing recent pictures of me in which my face looks pretty fat;
-- seeing a picture of me thirty pounds thinner from December 2004 in which my face looks fabulous;
-- lately my feet seem to ache more after wearing high heels than I'm used to (this may not be entirely related to my weight, but I'm sure losing weight would help -- I do not want to give up my heels);
-- noticing lately how many men prefer talking to my thin coworkers/friends than me when we are out and about; and
-- some frustration with my lovelife.

But the most important factor driving me right now is this: Last month my mother, who only weighs about ten more pounds than I do, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. We've known intellectually that this could happen, but were both shocked when it actually did.

Mom immediately got on track with a diet plan for Type 2 diabetes and walking for daily exercise. She's been struggling a little with the walking, but she has lost almost ten pounds, and her blood sugar is down from 138 to 109.

In fact, she might weigh a smidgen less than I do -- the first time that has ever happened in my life. I haven't told her that, though, because she is worried enough about my weight as it is. But now she can nag me about without feeling guilty or me getting irked at her.

I should be panicked and on a strict diet. But I'm not. I still haven't really gotten my arms around it yet.

Now I'm depressed. I'll write more later (hopefully). In the meantime, here are the numbers:

Weight: 201.6 lbs
BMI: 34.1 (Obese)
Total loss since 4/3/06 peak: -3.8 lbs.