Sunday, December 17, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
"Last Meals"
One of the "best" things I did was give myself about two weeks between the HMR info class and the day I started the diet. The primary reason I did that was so I could adjust my work schedule around the first week medical visit and class requirements, but I think I also got a psychological boost by being able to eat "real food" for that much longer. I did splurge, and though I know that wasn't exactly healthy for me, I did not really eat more than I was eating lately anyway (which is why I had to go on a diet, of course). The time just helped my mind adjust. I got to have my last McDonalds quarter pounder value meal and my last Taco Bell crunchwrap supreme. I think I had Donato's Pizza somewhere in there, but that might have been before the info meeting. (I avoided Papa John's, though, because it is so salty -- I didn't want my weight to rocket up that high.) I got to have tortellini a final time at home. The worst thing I ate was probably a whole bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish per day, four days in a row. Yeah, that sounds even worse when I see it in writing.
The timing also worked out so that I got to enjoy two professional lunches just before I started the diet -- one of the lunches was very nice and formal and I was glad I did not have to make a fuss over special diet food. (The other one was just a big deli sandwich, though it was tasty.)
I saved my best "last meal" for last -- the night before my diet started, I went to Bonefish and had grilled salmon with that lime tomato sauce I really like, mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and bread dipped in olive oil. Yum.
And you know, the only thing I've really missed since starting the diet is the salmon.
The timing also worked out so that I got to enjoy two professional lunches just before I started the diet -- one of the lunches was very nice and formal and I was glad I did not have to make a fuss over special diet food. (The other one was just a big deli sandwich, though it was tasty.)
I saved my best "last meal" for last -- the night before my diet started, I went to Bonefish and had grilled salmon with that lime tomato sauce I really like, mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and bread dipped in olive oil. Yum.
And you know, the only thing I've really missed since starting the diet is the salmon.
Yes, I really have been dieting this time! -- Here's what I picked and why
I thought I was going to blog more before I started my new plan, but I guess I got too busy. I definitely have busy since I started the diet a little over three weeks ago.
So here's the deal -- I decided to do the HMR program associated with the University of Kentucky. A few months ago I wrote that I wasn't sure I could do that, but my utter inability to get myself on any kind of plan changed my mind. In other words, I was getting desperate. :-)
I had explored a few other options -- I thought about ordering Nutrisystem food -- I knew there'd be no difference between that and what I had done on Jenny Craig, but I thought I might enjoy slightly different entree choices. I also explored a new program at a Georgetown, Kentucky, hospital called HALT -- it offered medical monitoring and meetings with a dietician, but it did not appear to have a hard and fast food program, and I wasn't sure I was going to be disciplined enough to make healthy food choices without someone handing the food to me. (At first I was also annoyed when they seemed oblivious to the schedules of all the working women in the room -- they said the class would be Thursday afternoons, but were not sure of the time. They did eventually decide to make the class at 5pm to accommodate people.)
Meanwhile, my mother had encouraged me to go to the HMR program's informational meeting on Thursday evenings, but I could not find time to leave my office in time to make any of those held in September. I finally got to go, however, on the second Thursday in October -- I had had a long week of getting up earlier than I used to in order to adjust to my new boss's schedule and preparing for a big meeting I had that Thursday morning. But the meeting went well and my new boss complimented me and I found myself with time to make it to Lexington for a 6:30pm meeting, though just barely. My mother met me there.
I missed a few minutes, but it felt like the program coordinator just jumped into describing what the program was -- no great platitudes or promises, just a description of the different variations of the program: all shakes, shakes and entrees (which I had not really realized you could do), or shakes and entrees and fruits and vegetables (what they call "Healthy Solutions"). She described the medical monitoring levels, etc. She described the class attendance requirement. In other words, she was pretty straightforward. Her style acknowledged that losing weight is tough, and keeping weight off is hard. I liked the approach.
Then she announced what time the current "core" class was: 4:30pm on Wednesdays. My heart sank. Given the late time for the info session, I had really hoped it would be a true evening class that would not require me to miss work. Why, I asked myself, do these programs not realize how busy a working woman is? Who are these classes for anyway?
After she finished speaking, she announced that the staff would be making appointments for those still interested in the order we arrived. Since Mom and me were the last ones there, we stayed in the conference room after everyone went to another room. I told Mom I was disappointed about the 4:30 time, and Mom agreed. But I started to discuss aloud that my new boss might understand and would let me take the time once a week, based on what I had observed of her so far -- I was thinking particularly about how my boss had gone out of her way to compliment me about the meeting. Before I completed the whole thought, I let the stress that had been building inside me out and began crying a little. Mom understood, and then we laughed a little, too. The coordinator came by during this time and gave me a tissue. I discussed my dilemna with her a little too. She listened, and I liked her even more.
In the end, I went ahead and signed up for my introductory physical -- I put it over a week out in order to give myself time to talk to my boss and adjust my schedule. And I put it on a day I knew I was going to be out of the office and in Lexington anyway. The next day, the coordinator called and told me that if the 4:30 pm was a real burden I could switch to a 6:15 class when that new core class started in a few weeks, even though the program usually didn't encourage that because I'd be sitting through some of the same stuff again. Told you I liked her.
But I didn't need to worry about my boss's reaction -- when I discussed the matter with her a couple of days later, she was fine it, which I figured she would be. I like her, too.
So here's the deal -- I decided to do the HMR program associated with the University of Kentucky. A few months ago I wrote that I wasn't sure I could do that, but my utter inability to get myself on any kind of plan changed my mind. In other words, I was getting desperate. :-)
I had explored a few other options -- I thought about ordering Nutrisystem food -- I knew there'd be no difference between that and what I had done on Jenny Craig, but I thought I might enjoy slightly different entree choices. I also explored a new program at a Georgetown, Kentucky, hospital called HALT -- it offered medical monitoring and meetings with a dietician, but it did not appear to have a hard and fast food program, and I wasn't sure I was going to be disciplined enough to make healthy food choices without someone handing the food to me. (At first I was also annoyed when they seemed oblivious to the schedules of all the working women in the room -- they said the class would be Thursday afternoons, but were not sure of the time. They did eventually decide to make the class at 5pm to accommodate people.)
Meanwhile, my mother had encouraged me to go to the HMR program's informational meeting on Thursday evenings, but I could not find time to leave my office in time to make any of those held in September. I finally got to go, however, on the second Thursday in October -- I had had a long week of getting up earlier than I used to in order to adjust to my new boss's schedule and preparing for a big meeting I had that Thursday morning. But the meeting went well and my new boss complimented me and I found myself with time to make it to Lexington for a 6:30pm meeting, though just barely. My mother met me there.
I missed a few minutes, but it felt like the program coordinator just jumped into describing what the program was -- no great platitudes or promises, just a description of the different variations of the program: all shakes, shakes and entrees (which I had not really realized you could do), or shakes and entrees and fruits and vegetables (what they call "Healthy Solutions"). She described the medical monitoring levels, etc. She described the class attendance requirement. In other words, she was pretty straightforward. Her style acknowledged that losing weight is tough, and keeping weight off is hard. I liked the approach.
Then she announced what time the current "core" class was: 4:30pm on Wednesdays. My heart sank. Given the late time for the info session, I had really hoped it would be a true evening class that would not require me to miss work. Why, I asked myself, do these programs not realize how busy a working woman is? Who are these classes for anyway?
After she finished speaking, she announced that the staff would be making appointments for those still interested in the order we arrived. Since Mom and me were the last ones there, we stayed in the conference room after everyone went to another room. I told Mom I was disappointed about the 4:30 time, and Mom agreed. But I started to discuss aloud that my new boss might understand and would let me take the time once a week, based on what I had observed of her so far -- I was thinking particularly about how my boss had gone out of her way to compliment me about the meeting. Before I completed the whole thought, I let the stress that had been building inside me out and began crying a little. Mom understood, and then we laughed a little, too. The coordinator came by during this time and gave me a tissue. I discussed my dilemna with her a little too. She listened, and I liked her even more.
In the end, I went ahead and signed up for my introductory physical -- I put it over a week out in order to give myself time to talk to my boss and adjust my schedule. And I put it on a day I knew I was going to be out of the office and in Lexington anyway. The next day, the coordinator called and told me that if the 4:30 pm was a real burden I could switch to a 6:15 class when that new core class started in a few weeks, even though the program usually didn't encourage that because I'd be sitting through some of the same stuff again. Told you I liked her.
But I didn't need to worry about my boss's reaction -- when I discussed the matter with her a couple of days later, she was fine it, which I figured she would be. I like her, too.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
What's brought me to the verge of starting a new plan
Website changes complete -- for now.
Okay, so my weight and eating habits have been awful the past two months. As I noted yesterday, I hit a new lifetime peak -- 207.8 pounds on September 25, 2006. I haven't exercised much and have begun to physically feel "not right" again -- I've finally noticed my hard breathing after minor exertions of energy. My scariest moment thus far was this past Monday -- because the elevators were momentarily down at my office building, I climbed about six and a half flights of stairs from the lobby to my office floor. I was able to do it relatively quickly (I was trying to get to a meeting on time), but I was quite winded, which I expected. What I did not expect, however, was feeling like my legs were going to give way with more than a flight to go. That really scared me.
Also that same day, I looked in the mirror at work and thought my face looked fat. Now, I've seen photographs of me and my face and knew I probably looked fat to most people, but I hadn't seen it as much when I looked at myself in the mirror -- I guess I kind of know how to hold my head when looking in the mirror to make it look the most flattering. (I think we all kind of do that -- that's why most of us can be shocked by how we look in a photograph.) Well, that day, even I thought my face looked fat.
Before that, however, I'd already become uncomfortable with my appearance in recent social situations. A couple of weeks ago I went to a nice get-together of professional women in my field, and I envied how good some of them looked. I also was warm and perspiring and was not wearing my best work outfit and felt even more self-conscious. I wanted to be able to wear some of the cute business suits the other women were wearing.
I suppose one of the reasons I've been so reckless with my eating and fitness habits the past few weeks is the stress over big changes at work. My boss left at the end of September, and we worked a few late evenings trying to wrap up a lot of things before she left. Then we had to get adjusted to the new boss who came in from outside our workplace -- none of us were sure what changes the new boss wanted to make, if any. I knew I could be let go at any time if she wanted to -- that is her perogative. At the same time, at least three people I worked with closely announced they were leaving for great career opportunities elsewhere. While I have had more hectic, stressful moments at my job, I now realize that this undercurrent of uncertainty over the past few weeks has taken its toll on me physically and emotionally.
The changes at work have started to settle down and I'm feeling more and more comfortable with my new boss. However, these recent changes have reminded me that my job is not a long-term one and that I have to look forward to what I'm going to do next. And part of that is reining my weight in, because I realize that being fat does impact what others think about you, at least when they first meet you.
So I started exploring options for getting this weight under control -- I'll talk more about that in the next post.
Okay, so my weight and eating habits have been awful the past two months. As I noted yesterday, I hit a new lifetime peak -- 207.8 pounds on September 25, 2006. I haven't exercised much and have begun to physically feel "not right" again -- I've finally noticed my hard breathing after minor exertions of energy. My scariest moment thus far was this past Monday -- because the elevators were momentarily down at my office building, I climbed about six and a half flights of stairs from the lobby to my office floor. I was able to do it relatively quickly (I was trying to get to a meeting on time), but I was quite winded, which I expected. What I did not expect, however, was feeling like my legs were going to give way with more than a flight to go. That really scared me.
Also that same day, I looked in the mirror at work and thought my face looked fat. Now, I've seen photographs of me and my face and knew I probably looked fat to most people, but I hadn't seen it as much when I looked at myself in the mirror -- I guess I kind of know how to hold my head when looking in the mirror to make it look the most flattering. (I think we all kind of do that -- that's why most of us can be shocked by how we look in a photograph.) Well, that day, even I thought my face looked fat.
Before that, however, I'd already become uncomfortable with my appearance in recent social situations. A couple of weeks ago I went to a nice get-together of professional women in my field, and I envied how good some of them looked. I also was warm and perspiring and was not wearing my best work outfit and felt even more self-conscious. I wanted to be able to wear some of the cute business suits the other women were wearing.
I suppose one of the reasons I've been so reckless with my eating and fitness habits the past few weeks is the stress over big changes at work. My boss left at the end of September, and we worked a few late evenings trying to wrap up a lot of things before she left. Then we had to get adjusted to the new boss who came in from outside our workplace -- none of us were sure what changes the new boss wanted to make, if any. I knew I could be let go at any time if she wanted to -- that is her perogative. At the same time, at least three people I worked with closely announced they were leaving for great career opportunities elsewhere. While I have had more hectic, stressful moments at my job, I now realize that this undercurrent of uncertainty over the past few weeks has taken its toll on me physically and emotionally.
The changes at work have started to settle down and I'm feeling more and more comfortable with my new boss. However, these recent changes have reminded me that my job is not a long-term one and that I have to look forward to what I'm going to do next. And part of that is reining my weight in, because I realize that being fat does impact what others think about you, at least when they first meet you.
So I started exploring options for getting this weight under control -- I'll talk more about that in the next post.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Changes coming . . .
Given that I haven't published for two months, you will not be surprised to learn that I have not been very successful on the weight loss front. In fact, it's been a near-disaster as I briefly hit another lifetime high (I'm under it right now). But I have some major changes planned -- and I'm glad to see that Blogger has upgraded its services just in time to coincide with my planned "upgrades." I'm going to play with the new options for a little bit before I discuss my diet plans further, but I promise I'll be back soon!
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Sunday Update
Weight: 205.0 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +1.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.2 lbs.
BMI: 34.6 (Obese)
Ugh. I did have a terrible day yesterday, though. I ate Cheez-It chips in the morning. Then I was in Georgetown in early afternoon and ordered a BK Double Stacker with fries. The fries were terrible, and the stacker came with bacon -- I pulled some of it off. Then at night I ate "Buffalitos" at BW3s.
Today I've been okay -- JC cereal for breakfast and JC pizza for lunch, and a 100 calorie Pringles thing. But I'm hungry right now and I'm really fighting the temptation to overeat.
Daily Loss/Gain: +1.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.2 lbs.
BMI: 34.6 (Obese)
Ugh. I did have a terrible day yesterday, though. I ate Cheez-It chips in the morning. Then I was in Georgetown in early afternoon and ordered a BK Double Stacker with fries. The fries were terrible, and the stacker came with bacon -- I pulled some of it off. Then at night I ate "Buffalitos" at BW3s.
Today I've been okay -- JC cereal for breakfast and JC pizza for lunch, and a 100 calorie Pringles thing. But I'm hungry right now and I'm really fighting the temptation to overeat.
Saturday Update
Weight: 203.4 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.8 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -3.8 lbs.
BMI: 34.4 (Obese)
I barely at anything during the day on Friday – I think I had a bagel, a donut, and three peppermint candies! But then I went to dinner with co-workers at Cheapside and had a Black Bean Burrito. It was delicious, but apparently that and the beer I had that night made me gain Saturday morning.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.8 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -3.8 lbs.
BMI: 34.4 (Obese)
I barely at anything during the day on Friday – I think I had a bagel, a donut, and three peppermint candies! But then I went to dinner with co-workers at Cheapside and had a Black Bean Burrito. It was delicious, but apparently that and the beer I had that night made me gain Saturday morning.
Friday Update
Weight: 202.6 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.8 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.6 lbs.
BMI: 34.4 (Obese)
This is the day everything caught up with me. I had more chips and Chipotle Dip on Thursday night, and I also had three pieces of CPK Thai Pizza (grocery) that EB did not eat. I need to admit that I just can't get that fabulous Chipotle Dip at Liquor Barn anymore.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.8 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.6 lbs.
BMI: 34.4 (Obese)
This is the day everything caught up with me. I had more chips and Chipotle Dip on Thursday night, and I also had three pieces of CPK Thai Pizza (grocery) that EB did not eat. I need to admit that I just can't get that fabulous Chipotle Dip at Liquor Barn anymore.
Thursday Update
Weight: 201.8 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -0.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -5.4 lbs.
BMI: 34.1 (Obese)
Again, I was surprised that I lost weight because I did not think I was very “good” on Wednesday. I did do the JC thing during the day, but I let myself have a few chips and dip that night. I also drank some wine with EB while watching “Project Runway.”
Daily Loss/Gain: -0.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -5.4 lbs.
BMI: 34.1 (Obese)
Again, I was surprised that I lost weight because I did not think I was very “good” on Wednesday. I did do the JC thing during the day, but I let myself have a few chips and dip that night. I also drank some wine with EB while watching “Project Runway.”
Wednesday Update
Wednesday Update
Weight: 202.2 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -0.2 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -5.0 lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
Tuesday was a very hectic day at work, which I had predicted. I purposely took one of the JC chicken salad kits for this day. I had a vitamin bar for breakfast and the kit for a very late lunch.
The surprise in Wednesday’s weight, however, is that on Tuesday I ate fried food appetizers at a local Frankfort watering hole with co-workers. And I drank beer, though I had lots of water and stopped long before I had to go home. But still was impressed that I held given the fried pickles (which are really good).
Weight: 202.2 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -0.2 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -5.0 lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
Tuesday was a very hectic day at work, which I had predicted. I purposely took one of the JC chicken salad kits for this day. I had a vitamin bar for breakfast and the kit for a very late lunch.
The surprise in Wednesday’s weight, however, is that on Tuesday I ate fried food appetizers at a local Frankfort watering hole with co-workers. And I drank beer, though I had lots of water and stopped long before I had to go home. But still was impressed that I held given the fried pickles (which are really good).
Tuesday Update
Weight: 202.4 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.8 lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
I cannot really remember what I ate on Monday, but I did stick to a JC food day. I probably had even less than the plan allows.
Daily Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.8 lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
I cannot really remember what I ate on Monday, but I did stick to a JC food day. I probably had even less than the plan allows.
Monday Update
Weight: 204.4 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +1.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.8 lbs.
BMI: 34.5 (Obese)
Yes, this was because I did not adhere to a JC plan last Sunday. I finished off the seafood pasta salad I made and had one piece of a CPK garlic chicken pizza (grocery store bought). (EB had the rest of the pizza.)
Daily Loss/Gain: +1.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.8 lbs.
BMI: 34.5 (Obese)
Yes, this was because I did not adhere to a JC plan last Sunday. I finished off the seafood pasta salad I made and had one piece of a CPK garlic chicken pizza (grocery store bought). (EB had the rest of the pizza.)
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Sunday update
Weight: 203.0 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.2 lbs.
BMI: 34.3 (Obese)
I was not surprised to be up today, and I'm glad it's only 0.4 lbs. Yesterday I went to a baby shower for my sister, and of course there was plenty of food, particularly finger food. I had a chicken salad croissant sandwich, about six triangle sandwiches with spinach spread on them, a couple of hot ham & cheese sandwiches, pasta salad, mixed nuts, and cake. I had no breakfast before that, but I don't know if that would've made a difference. Then about 8:30 last night my parents and I had dinner at Ruby Tuesday and I had their Carolina Chicken Salad. After that I went home and had nothing else, so I'm glad about that.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.2 lbs.
BMI: 34.3 (Obese)
I was not surprised to be up today, and I'm glad it's only 0.4 lbs. Yesterday I went to a baby shower for my sister, and of course there was plenty of food, particularly finger food. I had a chicken salad croissant sandwich, about six triangle sandwiches with spinach spread on them, a couple of hot ham & cheese sandwiches, pasta salad, mixed nuts, and cake. I had no breakfast before that, but I don't know if that would've made a difference. Then about 8:30 last night my parents and I had dinner at Ruby Tuesday and I had their Carolina Chicken Salad. After that I went home and had nothing else, so I'm glad about that.
Saturday Update
Weight: 202.6 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -0.2 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.6lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
Friday was an interesting day. I was running late for work and did not have time to eat the breakfast I had scheduled (cereal). So I just had the JC vitamin bar on the way. I didn't get to eat my JC chili until later in the afternoon, and then I also had a JC chocolate chip snack bar. Friday night, however, EB invited me out Buffalo Wild Wings, so I went. I had one of my favorites there -- Southwest Queso Chicken Wrap, and I had three light beers. So I was shocked when I got up Saturday morning and saw that I was essentially even at 202.6.
Daily Loss/Gain: -0.2 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.6lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
Friday was an interesting day. I was running late for work and did not have time to eat the breakfast I had scheduled (cereal). So I just had the JC vitamin bar on the way. I didn't get to eat my JC chili until later in the afternoon, and then I also had a JC chocolate chip snack bar. Friday night, however, EB invited me out Buffalo Wild Wings, so I went. I had one of my favorites there -- Southwest Queso Chicken Wrap, and I had three light beers. So I was shocked when I got up Saturday morning and saw that I was essentially even at 202.6.
Friday Update
On Thursday I stuck to my plan, but I then made some shrimp pasta salad to use up a store-bought bag of frozen cooked shrimp I've had for over a year and some celery and onion. And I had some to see how it tasted, but not the whole thing, thank goodness. I also had some wine with EB (I had some wine on Wednesday night while watching Project Runway with EB, too.) So I wasn't surprised by my weight Friday morning:
Weight: 202.8 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.2 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.4lbs.
BMI: 34.3 (Obese)
Weight: 202.8 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.2 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.4lbs.
BMI: 34.3 (Obese)
Thursday Update
Started my "customized-bastardized" Jenny Craig plan on Wednesday, and it appears to have had an effect:
Weight: 202.6 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -2.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.6lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
I also probably would've had water loss , anyway. But I was still very pleased.
Weight: 202.6 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -2.4 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -4.6lbs.
BMI: 34.2 (Obese)
I also probably would've had water loss , anyway. But I was still very pleased.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Wednesday Update
I was right -- I was up:
Weight: 205 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.2lbs.
BMI: 34.6 (Obese)
Still technically sick, but made it to work today. Started the Jenny Craig mash plan today. My only stray so far is after dinner, I finished off the Cheez-It chips. But I think I can get through the rest of the evening on plan.
Weight: 205 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: +0.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.2lbs.
BMI: 34.6 (Obese)
Still technically sick, but made it to work today. Started the Jenny Craig mash plan today. My only stray so far is after dinner, I finished off the Cheez-It chips. But I think I can get through the rest of the evening on plan.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
I actually made a plan today!
Today I stayed home sick again. (I went to the doctor to make sure I didn't have anything more than a cold. He thought I had a sinus infection and gave me an antibiotic.) I actually felt a little better and thus ate more than I did yesterday, or least worse foods -- a personal pan pizza and some Cheez-It chips (the thin chips, not the crackers). Later in the day I was watching Oprah talk to a woman who had gained 100 lbs. after two divorces and somehow during this discussion I decided I needed to keep a food journal again. (Oprah mentioned nothing about food journals or how to diet; she and Dr. Robin were just focusing on how the woman's weight gain stemmed from her hating herself). I hated writing that pizza and Cheez-Its down in the journal, but then that's why the experts tell you to keep a food journal -- to hold yourself accountable.
Later (and before I saw the comment to my "Malaise" post -- I swear), I finally did what I've been meaning to do for weeks: I cataloged what Jenny Craig meals I have left over from months and months ago (by printing the meal lists from the website and then counting what I had) and then used the myJenny menu online planner to create a menu using those foods. I start tomorrow.
My plan is to use up what I have and then decide what to do from there -- either go back to Jenny Craig, switch to Nutrisystem, or something else. We'll see. I've arranged the foods in part based on convenience (breakfasts that I can eat in the car on weekdays; lunches I don't have to refrigerate at work) and the expiration date of the food (oldest ones first). I'm willing to alter the latter if I get bored, however. Again, we'll see.
Later (and before I saw the comment to my "Malaise" post -- I swear), I finally did what I've been meaning to do for weeks: I cataloged what Jenny Craig meals I have left over from months and months ago (by printing the meal lists from the website and then counting what I had) and then used the myJenny menu online planner to create a menu using those foods. I start tomorrow.
My plan is to use up what I have and then decide what to do from there -- either go back to Jenny Craig, switch to Nutrisystem, or something else. We'll see. I've arranged the foods in part based on convenience (breakfasts that I can eat in the car on weekdays; lunches I don't have to refrigerate at work) and the expiration date of the food (oldest ones first). I'm willing to alter the latter if I get bored, however. Again, we'll see.
Tuesday Morning Update
I'm going to try to provide a daily update from here on out (especially since I apparently have one other person besides me who has read this blog -- see the comment to my "Malaise" entry yesterday).
Here's the current stats:
Age: 34
Height: 5' 4.5"
Weight: 204.4 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -1.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.8lbs.
BMI: 34.5 (Obese)
I didn't "try" hard yesterday. I had a package of tortellini for lunch with pesto and grated cheese and then low-sodium chicken noodle soup for dinner. I think that was it. Oh, wait I just checked the food journal I restarted this week and saw that I had a Jenny Craig Lemon Cake with a little Redi-whip on top. My beverages were just soft drinks, water, and hot tea (which I usually do not drink but thought it might feel good with my throat and cold).
Here's the current stats:
Age: 34
Height: 5' 4.5"
Weight: 204.4 lbs.
Daily Loss/Gain: -1.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Lifetime Peak (7/24/06): -2.8lbs.
BMI: 34.5 (Obese)
I didn't "try" hard yesterday. I had a package of tortellini for lunch with pesto and grated cheese and then low-sodium chicken noodle soup for dinner. I think that was it. Oh, wait I just checked the food journal I restarted this week and saw that I had a Jenny Craig Lemon Cake with a little Redi-whip on top. My beverages were just soft drinks, water, and hot tea (which I usually do not drink but thought it might feel good with my throat and cold).
Monday, August 07, 2006
Congrats to my mom!
As I've written before on this blog, my mother has been working on losing weight since being diagnosed with Type II diabetes in early April. Her first goal was to lose twenty pounds. I'm proud to announce that as of today, she has lost exactly twenty pounds since her diagnosis. Hooray, Mom!
I am fatter than Carnie Wilson
I watched the premiere of "Celebrity Fit Club 4" last night and realized during the show that I am fatter than Carnie Wilson. Now, of course, Carnie is nowhere near what she was before her gastric bypass surgery years ago -- she's starting the show at 188 and they said her low after the surgery was 145. She was over 300 when she had the surgery. But still, given how much Carnie Wilson is associated with overweight people, (I feel for you on that Carnie), the fact that I am only an inch and a half taller than her but nearly 20 pounds heavier than her is a sobering thought.
I'm going to be interested in watching her progress on Celebrity Fit Club -- some celebrities like Tina Yothers were eager to lose more than the show had targeted for them. Carnie acted more like I expected a veteran of failed diets would -- she thought the target was great, but she didn't promise to lose any more than that -- she already knows how hard it's going to be.
I'm going to be interested in watching her progress on Celebrity Fit Club -- some celebrities like Tina Yothers were eager to lose more than the show had targeted for them. Carnie acted more like I expected a veteran of failed diets would -- she thought the target was great, but she didn't promise to lose any more than that -- she already knows how hard it's going to be.
Malaise
I've been in a malaise the past few days. Part of cause is my being sick right now (cold symptoms). But the other part of the cause is my weight and how that makes me feel about myself. Two weeks ago I hit a new lifetime high of 207.2 pounds. It came after eating some pizza. I've been up and down since then, but today I'm still 206.0 lbs. Ugh. I just can't seem to get going. But I know I need to do something soon. I'm feeling unhealthy, though I cannot identify any particular ailment. I'm looking pretty bad in some recent pictures. Fewer and fewer of my clothes are fitting me, particularly with the high-90s weather we've had the past two weeks.
But I don't know what to do. I still have a bunch of uneaten Jenny Craig meals and feel like I should eat those according to some plan, but I can't bring myself to do that. A few weeks ago I mulled over the possibility of one of those very-low calorie HMR plans but don't know if I can give up real food for that long, particular the social angle of real food -- I still want to able to go to dinner or lunch with someone. Low-carb diets like South Beach seem to require cooking, which I don't always have time to do.
I just don't know.
But I don't know what to do. I still have a bunch of uneaten Jenny Craig meals and feel like I should eat those according to some plan, but I can't bring myself to do that. A few weeks ago I mulled over the possibility of one of those very-low calorie HMR plans but don't know if I can give up real food for that long, particular the social angle of real food -- I still want to able to go to dinner or lunch with someone. Low-carb diets like South Beach seem to require cooking, which I don't always have time to do.
I just don't know.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
What the Heck Am I Doing?
Today my weight is 205.8 pounds on my bathroom scale. This is my lifetime high – I was also at this weight 13 days ago. My BMI is at 34.8, the tip top of “Class I” obese. Yet I’m still sitting here craving food – I am even considering pizza, which is crazy because that would send my weight even higher, yet part of me doesn’t care. And yet I do care. I hated the way I looked in a picture a friend took of me last week. But more importantly, I don’t feel healthy. I don’t feel ill or sick, but I don’t feel healthy. I can tell that I’m out of shape when I walk up stairs, etc.
I’ve been feeling down about my weight this week, and on some days this week I did well eating-wise, but then my eating and drinking this weekend has erased all of that. And then yesterday, my mom send me what she titled a “Mom Worry Email”. As I’ve noted earlier, she has been really working on her weight after being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. She has done well and I’m proud of her. Understandably, she has been worried about my weight:
I weighed 197 this morning. This is not as low as my brief 196 and a fourth, but it is thirteen and a half pounds less than what I weighed on my birthday ... and about 15 pounds less than I weighed on your birthday. This goes slowly, but it does go, and I think if were more disciplined about exercise (my aching muscles discourage me I have to say) then I think it would go a little faster. What is worrying me most, however, is your weight. I am worried that you may weigh more than you did on your birthday - perhaps even more than I weigh now [I have not told my mom what I weigh, in part because I knew she would panic] - and I am three inches taller and a much bigger framed person overall.
(1) I would urge you to weigh faithfully. If your scales are not accurate - come over and use mine, and no one will look. Or buy your own set of balance beam scales. You have room in one of the baths, I would think. Facing reality is the first step towards making important changes.
(2) Make no mistake - the kind of weight you are now carrying will kill you - or perhaps worse, make your life physically miserable long before it kills you. I am not trying to scare you - well maybe I am - but I did not move into similar numbers until my fifties - and perhaps given my height - I have never been in numbers similar to yours (given your short stature/frame.) Well - I once did hit 221 ... the year after [my grandmother] went "down" and [my dad] was so ill and you divorced and the terrorists attacked. I think that was stress weight - and I fairly quickly came back down to the 210 - 212 range. Still, keep in mind that I am 5'7" tall and have huge feet and hands. I'm a big woman. This is way too much weight for me, but it is not the same ratio as for you at 5'4". The point though is this - As the doctor in choir said to his daughter - you are too young to carry this much weight.
(3) With things a little more slack at work, perhaps now is the time to seriously think about what you can do. I continue to worry that there is some physiological reason you gain so rapidly. Have you considered consulting an endocrinologist? There is little that you have not tried - and I heard the discouragement in your voice when you rattled off the different diets and different years to [my sister] the other night. You got a bum deal in the weight dept. of life (but an overdose of brains and personality and overall common sense so I guess one has to take what one is given and make the best of it.)
Personally I think you will have to do something different - something more "drastic." - to lose weight again, though perhaps I am wrong. You have succeeded with Jenny Craig and regular exercise in the past and might be able to do so again. I have wondered about HMR - Dr. Anderson's deal at UK. It would be expensive, but it might give you an "in" with their endocrinology department, and also give you the kind of one on one professional support you are going to need to get this weight off. From what I read online, they emphasize long term counseling. I possibly could do this with you depending on the cost - and depending on their advice for diabetics. I really need to get down to about 160 - 165 for health reasons.
I have also wondered about psychological counseling - if you have issues with overeating that I am unaware of. I do not see you eat enough - you eat wisely when we are together - to gain the way you do, but when I suggest a physical problem re: weight gain, you seem to indicate that you think you know why you are gaining -= that you are indeed overeating. Only you can answer that question. But you should not keep gaining weight on grilled salmon salads for dinner and turkey chef salads at lunch, etc. So be honest with yourself about what you are eating/drinking/doing.
(4) Keep in mind that my concern is that you reach a healthy weight. I am not bugging you about being model thin - a size 4 or whatever. This is not about looks - though you are a beautiful woman, your beauty a natural asset that could be helpful to you professionally, socially and emotionally - but about good health and living out your natural lifetime. It would be so much easier/better to discipline yourself now than to wait until you have a stroke or heart attack or develop diabetes or serious muscular skeletal issues. Then - there can never be a treat - a lapse - a vacation - or a sense of physical well-being.
(5) Of course, I worry that alcohol consumption may play a role in your weight issues. Only you know if that is true. Alcohol abuse is - well, abuse - and just as silly and unnecessary as any other drug abuse. It is not cool or smart and will not make you more popular. Right now, it is the "new" smoking ... but the smokers of my generation mostly ended up with cancer. So how cool is cancer? Hard to be popular when you're dead. Excessive, ongoing drinking will lead to both emotional and physical problems for your generation - for those not wise enough to recognize the risks. It seems less innocuous than illegal drugs - and I guess maybe it is - but it is NOT innocuous. I'm not talking about the occasional glass of wine or drink - but the day after day, week after week, of steady drinking that - if one is honest - is more than the standard definition of "a serving." Granted - others may be able to drink like fish and gain no weight - or even seem to avoid an addiction problem. But women, I've read over and over, are more impacted physically by alcohol than men - it causes more damage to their liver and increases their risk of breast cancer a lot - and are also more likely to get addicted. ... It is good that you do not drink alone. But if you abuse alcohol in groups - you are still abusing - drinking too much.
Well, I just love you so much. And I worry. I worry about you. Because I love you so much. Mom
I thought about editing some of this, but then I thought that would be dishonest. Mom touches on a number of themes that have recurred throughout my battles with my weight: the fact that I’ve tried a number of different diet programs, my frustration when I regain the weight, and my tendency to do most of my overeating in private. The latter has made my mom wonder if I have a physical ailment, but I’m not really sure that I do – my thyroid has been tested during weight gain before, and that’s normal.
As for the alcohol, she is right that the drinking I do does not aid my weight loss. I’ve noticed in particular lately that beer is worse for my weight than wine, even when I drink light beer. However, if I have too much wine, I will start eating to sober myself up.
Do I abuse alcohol? I have never thought so, but I should examine it. I do my drinking is social situations, which used to be only on weekends, but I do more drink more at social occasions during the week now. So I don’t know. . . I should say, however, that my mom does not drink at all, and wish I wouldn’t drink at all, either.
So where to go from here? I’ve resisted doing something as drastic as a medically supervised liquid diet, but going back to Jenny Craig food fills me dread – I don’t mean to insult the food itself – most of it is pretty good, but I burned out on it and have not gotten over it. Yet, I don’t have much time to cook. I don’t know what I can do, but I’ve got to find something.
I’ve been feeling down about my weight this week, and on some days this week I did well eating-wise, but then my eating and drinking this weekend has erased all of that. And then yesterday, my mom send me what she titled a “Mom Worry Email”. As I’ve noted earlier, she has been really working on her weight after being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. She has done well and I’m proud of her. Understandably, she has been worried about my weight:
I weighed 197 this morning. This is not as low as my brief 196 and a fourth, but it is thirteen and a half pounds less than what I weighed on my birthday ... and about 15 pounds less than I weighed on your birthday. This goes slowly, but it does go, and I think if were more disciplined about exercise (my aching muscles discourage me I have to say) then I think it would go a little faster. What is worrying me most, however, is your weight. I am worried that you may weigh more than you did on your birthday - perhaps even more than I weigh now [I have not told my mom what I weigh, in part because I knew she would panic] - and I am three inches taller and a much bigger framed person overall.
(1) I would urge you to weigh faithfully. If your scales are not accurate - come over and use mine, and no one will look. Or buy your own set of balance beam scales. You have room in one of the baths, I would think. Facing reality is the first step towards making important changes.
(2) Make no mistake - the kind of weight you are now carrying will kill you - or perhaps worse, make your life physically miserable long before it kills you. I am not trying to scare you - well maybe I am - but I did not move into similar numbers until my fifties - and perhaps given my height - I have never been in numbers similar to yours (given your short stature/frame.) Well - I once did hit 221 ... the year after [my grandmother] went "down" and [my dad] was so ill and you divorced and the terrorists attacked. I think that was stress weight - and I fairly quickly came back down to the 210 - 212 range. Still, keep in mind that I am 5'7" tall and have huge feet and hands. I'm a big woman. This is way too much weight for me, but it is not the same ratio as for you at 5'4". The point though is this - As the doctor in choir said to his daughter - you are too young to carry this much weight.
(3) With things a little more slack at work, perhaps now is the time to seriously think about what you can do. I continue to worry that there is some physiological reason you gain so rapidly. Have you considered consulting an endocrinologist? There is little that you have not tried - and I heard the discouragement in your voice when you rattled off the different diets and different years to [my sister] the other night. You got a bum deal in the weight dept. of life (but an overdose of brains and personality and overall common sense so I guess one has to take what one is given and make the best of it.)
Personally I think you will have to do something different - something more "drastic." - to lose weight again, though perhaps I am wrong. You have succeeded with Jenny Craig and regular exercise in the past and might be able to do so again. I have wondered about HMR - Dr. Anderson's deal at UK. It would be expensive, but it might give you an "in" with their endocrinology department, and also give you the kind of one on one professional support you are going to need to get this weight off. From what I read online, they emphasize long term counseling. I possibly could do this with you depending on the cost - and depending on their advice for diabetics. I really need to get down to about 160 - 165 for health reasons.
I have also wondered about psychological counseling - if you have issues with overeating that I am unaware of. I do not see you eat enough - you eat wisely when we are together - to gain the way you do, but when I suggest a physical problem re: weight gain, you seem to indicate that you think you know why you are gaining -= that you are indeed overeating. Only you can answer that question. But you should not keep gaining weight on grilled salmon salads for dinner and turkey chef salads at lunch, etc. So be honest with yourself about what you are eating/drinking/doing.
(4) Keep in mind that my concern is that you reach a healthy weight. I am not bugging you about being model thin - a size 4 or whatever. This is not about looks - though you are a beautiful woman, your beauty a natural asset that could be helpful to you professionally, socially and emotionally - but about good health and living out your natural lifetime. It would be so much easier/better to discipline yourself now than to wait until you have a stroke or heart attack or develop diabetes or serious muscular skeletal issues. Then - there can never be a treat - a lapse - a vacation - or a sense of physical well-being.
(5) Of course, I worry that alcohol consumption may play a role in your weight issues. Only you know if that is true. Alcohol abuse is - well, abuse - and just as silly and unnecessary as any other drug abuse. It is not cool or smart and will not make you more popular. Right now, it is the "new" smoking ... but the smokers of my generation mostly ended up with cancer. So how cool is cancer? Hard to be popular when you're dead. Excessive, ongoing drinking will lead to both emotional and physical problems for your generation - for those not wise enough to recognize the risks. It seems less innocuous than illegal drugs - and I guess maybe it is - but it is NOT innocuous. I'm not talking about the occasional glass of wine or drink - but the day after day, week after week, of steady drinking that - if one is honest - is more than the standard definition of "a serving." Granted - others may be able to drink like fish and gain no weight - or even seem to avoid an addiction problem. But women, I've read over and over, are more impacted physically by alcohol than men - it causes more damage to their liver and increases their risk of breast cancer a lot - and are also more likely to get addicted. ... It is good that you do not drink alone. But if you abuse alcohol in groups - you are still abusing - drinking too much.
Well, I just love you so much. And I worry. I worry about you. Because I love you so much. Mom
I thought about editing some of this, but then I thought that would be dishonest. Mom touches on a number of themes that have recurred throughout my battles with my weight: the fact that I’ve tried a number of different diet programs, my frustration when I regain the weight, and my tendency to do most of my overeating in private. The latter has made my mom wonder if I have a physical ailment, but I’m not really sure that I do – my thyroid has been tested during weight gain before, and that’s normal.
As for the alcohol, she is right that the drinking I do does not aid my weight loss. I’ve noticed in particular lately that beer is worse for my weight than wine, even when I drink light beer. However, if I have too much wine, I will start eating to sober myself up.
Do I abuse alcohol? I have never thought so, but I should examine it. I do my drinking is social situations, which used to be only on weekends, but I do more drink more at social occasions during the week now. So I don’t know. . . I should say, however, that my mom does not drink at all, and wish I wouldn’t drink at all, either.
So where to go from here? I’ve resisted doing something as drastic as a medically supervised liquid diet, but going back to Jenny Craig food fills me dread – I don’t mean to insult the food itself – most of it is pretty good, but I burned out on it and have not gotten over it. Yet, I don’t have much time to cook. I don’t know what I can do, but I’ve got to find something.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
The stakes are now higher
Hi, y'all. It's been two months since I last wrote. I have not made a lot of progress. I hit a new high on April 3rd -- 205.4 lbs. But on April 25th I hit a low for 2006 of 198.0 lbs. - and that was after returning home from a friend's wedding weekend. Today, however, I'm back up to 201.6 lbs. This weekend I've been engaged in a lot of self-reflection to figure out the best way for me to lose weight.
I have a few things driving this self-reflection:
-- seeing recent pictures of me in which my face looks pretty fat;
-- seeing a picture of me thirty pounds thinner from December 2004 in which my face looks fabulous;
-- lately my feet seem to ache more after wearing high heels than I'm used to (this may not be entirely related to my weight, but I'm sure losing weight would help -- I do not want to give up my heels);
-- noticing lately how many men prefer talking to my thin coworkers/friends than me when we are out and about; and
-- some frustration with my lovelife.
But the most important factor driving me right now is this: Last month my mother, who only weighs about ten more pounds than I do, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. We've known intellectually that this could happen, but were both shocked when it actually did.
Mom immediately got on track with a diet plan for Type 2 diabetes and walking for daily exercise. She's been struggling a little with the walking, but she has lost almost ten pounds, and her blood sugar is down from 138 to 109.
In fact, she might weigh a smidgen less than I do -- the first time that has ever happened in my life. I haven't told her that, though, because she is worried enough about my weight as it is. But now she can nag me about without feeling guilty or me getting irked at her.
I should be panicked and on a strict diet. But I'm not. I still haven't really gotten my arms around it yet.
Now I'm depressed. I'll write more later (hopefully). In the meantime, here are the numbers:
Weight: 201.6 lbs
BMI: 34.1 (Obese)
Total loss since 4/3/06 peak: -3.8 lbs.
I have a few things driving this self-reflection:
-- seeing recent pictures of me in which my face looks pretty fat;
-- seeing a picture of me thirty pounds thinner from December 2004 in which my face looks fabulous;
-- lately my feet seem to ache more after wearing high heels than I'm used to (this may not be entirely related to my weight, but I'm sure losing weight would help -- I do not want to give up my heels);
-- noticing lately how many men prefer talking to my thin coworkers/friends than me when we are out and about; and
-- some frustration with my lovelife.
But the most important factor driving me right now is this: Last month my mother, who only weighs about ten more pounds than I do, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. We've known intellectually that this could happen, but were both shocked when it actually did.
Mom immediately got on track with a diet plan for Type 2 diabetes and walking for daily exercise. She's been struggling a little with the walking, but she has lost almost ten pounds, and her blood sugar is down from 138 to 109.
In fact, she might weigh a smidgen less than I do -- the first time that has ever happened in my life. I haven't told her that, though, because she is worried enough about my weight as it is. But now she can nag me about without feeling guilty or me getting irked at her.
I should be panicked and on a strict diet. But I'm not. I still haven't really gotten my arms around it yet.
Now I'm depressed. I'll write more later (hopefully). In the meantime, here are the numbers:
Weight: 201.6 lbs
BMI: 34.1 (Obese)
Total loss since 4/3/06 peak: -3.8 lbs.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Happy Birthday to me.
I am 34 years old today. I began my 35th year on earth on the right foot this morning -- I was down 2.2 lbs. I don't know what the scale will look like tomorrow, however -- it's been a very food-filled birthday. I started the day by eating some of the giant cookie my friend EB got me this weekend -- I have not yet eaten my name, however, because I like the way it looks. Then, at work, my secretary at work surprised me with a potluck luncheon -- her husband cooked some ham, and other coworkers brought in a lot of good food. I was touched by the effort she and everyone else to -- I'm not used to having people other than my parents make such a fuss over me.
I didn't really need any more food, but my parents and I had already planned a dinner at the local Indian restaurant, which I had really been looking forward to. We had a really nice time, and my lamb rogan josh was excellent.
I had a great birthday overall -- I had fun driving my car to and from work -- I love the way it rides so smoothly. I received email greetings and phone calls from close friends and family. And it was sunny -- not necessarily warm, but sunny. Now I'm tired and need to go to bed. It's been a good day indeed, and not because it was fattening.
I didn't really need any more food, but my parents and I had already planned a dinner at the local Indian restaurant, which I had really been looking forward to. We had a really nice time, and my lamb rogan josh was excellent.
I had a great birthday overall -- I had fun driving my car to and from work -- I love the way it rides so smoothly. I received email greetings and phone calls from close friends and family. And it was sunny -- not necessarily warm, but sunny. Now I'm tired and need to go to bed. It's been a good day indeed, and not because it was fattening.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Birthday Eve -- Back Again
Hello -- I'm back after a long absence. My computer hard drive crashed in mid-January -- I got the computer back up and running in a couple of days, but I never got back to this blog. I lost a few days of weigh-ins with the crash, but I've been faithfully weighing every day. Unfortunately, I haven't made a lot of progress overall -- today, on the eve of my 34th birthday, I've matched my lifetime high (set back in mid-January) of 205.2 pounds. Today's weight was a result of a big one-day jump that I think resulted in part from a lot of salt I had yesterday. But I've only dipped below 200 a few times in the past two months. I've exercised a little, but not enough to make a difference.
Don't worry, though, I'm not going to let the weight put a damper on my birthday -- I started celebrating early this weekend by buying a new car! I got a nice car I've had my eye on since last fall, but I was waiting for a red one to come in. Even after I saw the red one appear on the lot last month, I waited a couple of weeks before I test drove. Then I waited two more weeks before I bought it. Tomorrow, my birthday, I get to drive it to work for the first time -- I'm not interested in showing it off, I just want to enjoy the car on my forty mile commute.
Maybe I can also let my excitement over the car help me get to the gym more often. I would like to walk more often. After my computer crashed I had to rebuild my iPod, but now it's better than before, so I should have everything I need to walk, whether it be at the gym or outside as it gets warmer.
Meanwhile, I will probably have more food than I need tomorrow, but after that, I've got to be more methodical about my diet. I'm going to be 34 tomorrow, and I have no more time to spend being fat -- I've got to get serious about my health, and my personal appearance.
Today's numbers:
Age: 33 years and 364 days.
Weight: 205.2 lbs. (Equals Lifetime High)
BMI: 34.7 (Obese)
Don't worry, though, I'm not going to let the weight put a damper on my birthday -- I started celebrating early this weekend by buying a new car! I got a nice car I've had my eye on since last fall, but I was waiting for a red one to come in. Even after I saw the red one appear on the lot last month, I waited a couple of weeks before I test drove. Then I waited two more weeks before I bought it. Tomorrow, my birthday, I get to drive it to work for the first time -- I'm not interested in showing it off, I just want to enjoy the car on my forty mile commute.
Maybe I can also let my excitement over the car help me get to the gym more often. I would like to walk more often. After my computer crashed I had to rebuild my iPod, but now it's better than before, so I should have everything I need to walk, whether it be at the gym or outside as it gets warmer.
Meanwhile, I will probably have more food than I need tomorrow, but after that, I've got to be more methodical about my diet. I'm going to be 34 tomorrow, and I have no more time to spend being fat -- I've got to get serious about my health, and my personal appearance.
Today's numbers:
Age: 33 years and 364 days.
Weight: 205.2 lbs. (Equals Lifetime High)
BMI: 34.7 (Obese)
Saturday, January 07, 2006
A week of highs and lows (literally and figuratively)
I had to hit the ground running when I returned to work this week, resulting in a lot of late evenings and no time for blogging. However, I weighed myself everyday, and I got to the gym one evening this week after work, which is better than I've done the past few months.
Tuesday morning I got on the scale and was horrified to find that I weighed 205 pounds, a new lifetime high. I was very surprised based on what I ate on Monday, but I think it was the whole weekend rather than just one day catching up with me. I can't remember what I ate the rest of the day Tuesday -- it wasn't too much, but I didn't starve myself, either.
Wednesday morning I was glad to be down to 202.8. Much better. I was really hungry when I left work late (around 8pm or later), and I quickly thought of what I could eat during the 30 minute drive home that wouldn't be "too bad". I settled on an Arby's roast beef sandwich. I had hoped to get to the gym this night, but my friend DW called when I got back to Lexington and wanted to chat. He was hungry, so we went to Don Pablos. I had some chips and a little of what he had, but I did not get my own meal. I did have a margarita, though.
Thursday morning I held at 202.8. That night I went to a "wild game" dinner connected with work -- lots of lean protein. After the dinner, I finally got to go to the gym, where I walked 2 miles (8 laps) on the indoor walking track. I was dragging after a long day, but I went ahead and got on a Precor elliptical machine, and I really enjoyed that with my iPod, so I'm hoping to do that more often on late weeknights. (I'm already assuming the Precors will be in hot demand on weekends.)
Friday morning I was down to 201.8. Yea! I "broke down" on the way to work and got two Hardees sausage egg biscuits, but I did not have any lunch. I went out in the evening with EB and ate a chicken quesadilla and drank some beer. Not a great diet evening.
Today, I held at 201.8. I overslept my Jenny Craig appointment, though, and I really haven't had a good food day. I also did not get to the gym, but I'm hoping to go tomorrow.
So here's the new numbers:
Current weight: 201.8 lbs.
Total Loss from 1/3/06 Peak: -3.2 lbs.
Tuesday morning I got on the scale and was horrified to find that I weighed 205 pounds, a new lifetime high. I was very surprised based on what I ate on Monday, but I think it was the whole weekend rather than just one day catching up with me. I can't remember what I ate the rest of the day Tuesday -- it wasn't too much, but I didn't starve myself, either.
Wednesday morning I was glad to be down to 202.8. Much better. I was really hungry when I left work late (around 8pm or later), and I quickly thought of what I could eat during the 30 minute drive home that wouldn't be "too bad". I settled on an Arby's roast beef sandwich. I had hoped to get to the gym this night, but my friend DW called when I got back to Lexington and wanted to chat. He was hungry, so we went to Don Pablos. I had some chips and a little of what he had, but I did not get my own meal. I did have a margarita, though.
Thursday morning I held at 202.8. That night I went to a "wild game" dinner connected with work -- lots of lean protein. After the dinner, I finally got to go to the gym, where I walked 2 miles (8 laps) on the indoor walking track. I was dragging after a long day, but I went ahead and got on a Precor elliptical machine, and I really enjoyed that with my iPod, so I'm hoping to do that more often on late weeknights. (I'm already assuming the Precors will be in hot demand on weekends.)
Friday morning I was down to 201.8. Yea! I "broke down" on the way to work and got two Hardees sausage egg biscuits, but I did not have any lunch. I went out in the evening with EB and ate a chicken quesadilla and drank some beer. Not a great diet evening.
Today, I held at 201.8. I overslept my Jenny Craig appointment, though, and I really haven't had a good food day. I also did not get to the gym, but I'm hoping to go tomorrow.
So here's the new numbers:
Current weight: 201.8 lbs.
Total Loss from 1/3/06 Peak: -3.2 lbs.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Today's numbers
Well, I'm making more progress on the fitness front than the weight/diet front. I gained 0.2 lbs. today, for a total of 202.6 lbs. and a total loss of only 1.0 lb. from my (known) lifetime peak.
Progress on the walking goal
I went to my nearby Gold's Gym today and did eight laps on their indoor track for a total of one mile. Then I did 30 minutes plus cooldown on the treadmill for a total of 1.79 miles. So I walked 2.79 miles total today!
I'm trying to make the return to Gold's Gym this winter after a long absence. I had not been to Gold's in over a year, and I had never stepped foot in the year-old new facility nearest me until last week, but I had maintained my membership there because I wanted to return easily. I like the new Gold's better than any of the others I've been to before. The others were old department store or supermarket buildings converted into a gym -- this one is a brand-new building. I really like the walking track -- that was the primary thing that attracted me to coming back this time. I really enjoyed walking outside during the late summer and fall while listening to my iPod, and am using the indoor track to continue that into the winter. The treadmill, though, will help me walk consistently faster than I might on the track, so I'm trying to do both.
I've only been twice so far, but I think the new facility, due in part to its newness and location, attracts a wider range of ages and fitness levels than I've seen at other Gold's Gyms. The old Lexington one I went to seemed dominated by college students and slightly older adults that were already in much better shape than me. The one I used to go to in Arlington, VA, five years ago seemed to be nothing but young, fit professionals. I frequently felt like the only out-of-shape person of my age in the room. And I imagined that these people were more disciplined than me in every other aspect of life, too. I'm sure they weren't, but I was really being hard on myself back then. It was not a good time.
Now, however, I'm more secure about myself in general, so I'm not wondering what the other people at the gym think of me. So maybe that's the real reason it feels less intimidating to me.
My next goal is to see if I can get to the gym after work on weeknights. This is the other reason I'm returning to Gold's -- it's open late. I tried Curves back in the summer, and I felt much more comfortable with their strength training equipment than the way-to-many choices at Golds. But Curves' hours just don't suit my current job -- they seem to be designed for people who don't work outside the home or who work very set "9 to 5" hours. No job I've had has ever been like that, but the one I have is certainly not -- I start too early to do Curves in the morning and frequently work too late to do Curves at night. And I can't do a scheduled lunch workout, either. So I have to find another alternative. Gold's should also suit me better than Curves for a while because my plan is to concentrate primarily on cardio first to jumpstart weight loss, then see if I want to add strength training later.
I'll let you know how things go.
I'm trying to make the return to Gold's Gym this winter after a long absence. I had not been to Gold's in over a year, and I had never stepped foot in the year-old new facility nearest me until last week, but I had maintained my membership there because I wanted to return easily. I like the new Gold's better than any of the others I've been to before. The others were old department store or supermarket buildings converted into a gym -- this one is a brand-new building. I really like the walking track -- that was the primary thing that attracted me to coming back this time. I really enjoyed walking outside during the late summer and fall while listening to my iPod, and am using the indoor track to continue that into the winter. The treadmill, though, will help me walk consistently faster than I might on the track, so I'm trying to do both.
I've only been twice so far, but I think the new facility, due in part to its newness and location, attracts a wider range of ages and fitness levels than I've seen at other Gold's Gyms. The old Lexington one I went to seemed dominated by college students and slightly older adults that were already in much better shape than me. The one I used to go to in Arlington, VA, five years ago seemed to be nothing but young, fit professionals. I frequently felt like the only out-of-shape person of my age in the room. And I imagined that these people were more disciplined than me in every other aspect of life, too. I'm sure they weren't, but I was really being hard on myself back then. It was not a good time.
Now, however, I'm more secure about myself in general, so I'm not wondering what the other people at the gym think of me. So maybe that's the real reason it feels less intimidating to me.
My next goal is to see if I can get to the gym after work on weeknights. This is the other reason I'm returning to Gold's -- it's open late. I tried Curves back in the summer, and I felt much more comfortable with their strength training equipment than the way-to-many choices at Golds. But Curves' hours just don't suit my current job -- they seem to be designed for people who don't work outside the home or who work very set "9 to 5" hours. No job I've had has ever been like that, but the one I have is certainly not -- I start too early to do Curves in the morning and frequently work too late to do Curves at night. And I can't do a scheduled lunch workout, either. So I have to find another alternative. Gold's should also suit me better than Curves for a while because my plan is to concentrate primarily on cardio first to jumpstart weight loss, then see if I want to add strength training later.
I'll let you know how things go.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
1/1/2006: The Hard Numbers
For purposes of going forward, I've got to be honest about the numbers:
Weight on 1/1/2006: 202.4 lbs.
Lifetime Peak (confirmed): 203.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Peak: -1.2 lbs.
Height: 5' 4.5"
BMI: 34.2
BMI Classification: Obese
(All weights are on my bathroom scale unless otherwise indicated.)
It's a long road ahead. But I have to focus on one step at a time.
Weight on 1/1/2006: 202.4 lbs.
Lifetime Peak (confirmed): 203.6 lbs.
Total Loss from Peak: -1.2 lbs.
Height: 5' 4.5"
BMI: 34.2
BMI Classification: Obese
(All weights are on my bathroom scale unless otherwise indicated.)
It's a long road ahead. But I have to focus on one step at a time.
Resolutions
Okay, here are some of my resolutions for 2006, in no particular order, big and mundane:
1. For the whole year -- lose at least the 30 pounds I gained in 2005.
2. Lose at least 15 pounds before my friend's wedding in DC in late April. That seems realistic for three-and-a-half months.
3. Exercise more -- get on a walking program. I'm going to try to go back to Gold's Gym to deal with walking in bad weather.
4. Keep up the good momentum I have going on at my job. Lay the groundwork for the inevitable transfer into something else -- because I know the job will not last forever regardless of how well I do in it.
5. Build upon the social network I started building the past couple of years.
6. Here's a big one -- walk a marathon. I'll write more about that goal later.
7. Clean up and organize my den.
8. Clean up and organize my kitchen pantry.
9. Use this blog to help me achieve the weight loss and exercise goals.
1. For the whole year -- lose at least the 30 pounds I gained in 2005.
2. Lose at least 15 pounds before my friend's wedding in DC in late April. That seems realistic for three-and-a-half months.
3. Exercise more -- get on a walking program. I'm going to try to go back to Gold's Gym to deal with walking in bad weather.
4. Keep up the good momentum I have going on at my job. Lay the groundwork for the inevitable transfer into something else -- because I know the job will not last forever regardless of how well I do in it.
5. Build upon the social network I started building the past couple of years.
6. Here's a big one -- walk a marathon. I'll write more about that goal later.
7. Clean up and organize my den.
8. Clean up and organize my kitchen pantry.
9. Use this blog to help me achieve the weight loss and exercise goals.
2005 In Review -- Good Year for My Life Overall, Bad Year for Weight
2005 -- My friend EB said that he was happy to see 2005 end. I understand why he thinks that -- he had a really rough year career-wise. However, I have mixed feelings about the end of 2005. I started off the year with a little romance with an older man. We had a lot of fun for a few months, but for a variety of reasons, the romance eventually fizzled. I missed the guy a little this week, but not with huge regret. As far as the "whole package" was concerned, he was not the guy for me in the long run. But he did have some good qualities I'd like to find in someone else -- most notably his good people skills and his optimism. So even though things didn't work out, it was a positive experience overall.
My career also leapt forward in 2005. I went through some moments of drive-you-crazy uncertainty for two months this fall, but I ended up with a great job with a lot more responsibility than I've ever had before. Though I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights on my first day, I quickly realized that this was the right job at the right time for me. Given the position's responsibility and the potential to influence public policy, I think I am right where I should be in my career. More importantly, though, I really like the job.
However, the romance and career concerns have taken a toll on my weight. I dared look up what I weighed a year ago. Though the dates don't all comport, etc, I can (unfortunately) say that I gained 30 pounds in 2005, exceeding 200 pounds for the first time in my life. But I'm optimistic about turning that around in the new year.
So thanks for an interesting year, 2005. Let's hope the new year is much better.
My career also leapt forward in 2005. I went through some moments of drive-you-crazy uncertainty for two months this fall, but I ended up with a great job with a lot more responsibility than I've ever had before. Though I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights on my first day, I quickly realized that this was the right job at the right time for me. Given the position's responsibility and the potential to influence public policy, I think I am right where I should be in my career. More importantly, though, I really like the job.
However, the romance and career concerns have taken a toll on my weight. I dared look up what I weighed a year ago. Though the dates don't all comport, etc, I can (unfortunately) say that I gained 30 pounds in 2005, exceeding 200 pounds for the first time in my life. But I'm optimistic about turning that around in the new year.
So thanks for an interesting year, 2005. Let's hope the new year is much better.
Happy New Year! Happy New Template!
It's 2006 -- and like so many other people, I'm trying to make the new year a "fresh start" with respect to my battle with my weight. So I'm making a fresh start on this blog, too -- I'm switching to a new template -- I'm tired of the pink/maroon stuff.
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